Ah, there’s so much magic in the air isn’t there? Or is there? Depending on how you choose to spend these next 2 weeks can drastically alter your experience of the festive season. Are you burdened by to-do lists, financial stress and a complete sense of overwhelm? Or are you easing into the darkest time of the year, creating ritual and rhythm and connecting with those around you? Over the years I have experienced both, but each year becomes more intentional and more enjoyable as I carve out traditions and rituals that serve my family.
Let me just add in a quote I came across last year which made me laugh;
I shared this on Facebook and so many of my friends commented with a sense of ‘YES, I’ve so felt that’. Ironically I love traditions, but what this quote reminds me is that a tradition only serves you if you want it. Times change, people change and we have to adapt. We can at any time, create our own traditions, or borrow traditions from other cultures/families. Whatever resonates with us, and whichever tradition we want to honor is the right one. As a mum of young children I of course hope that some things I do will pass on down through my children to their own children, but it has to be wanted by them to be authentic and to keep the magic alive within it.
What do we celebrate in our home? We aren’t of the Christian faith, but we live in and amongst a culture which celebrates the birth of baby Jesus, and the attached package of elves in the north pole, who work with the big man in a red suit and white beard and some flying reindeers. Sounds a bit too confusing already, doesn’t it?! After Willow was born, I started to think, ‘what narrative will we have around this time of year? How do I justify celebrating the birth of Jesus that’s somehow got tangled up in mass consumerism? And how do I bring back the ancient celebration of the Winter Solstice? And how can a Pagan story and a Christian story co-exist?’
For the last 3 years I have read an article written by Yolande Clarke titled ‘why I don’t lie to my kids about Santa’. It is beautiful and rather than me paraphrase it all, please gift yourself the time to read her words. Don’t be triggered by the title, it isn’t what you think! Bu please head back to this post, once you’ve read it.
At the beginning of December we get the Christmas books down from the loft, this really gets the conversations going about what’s to come. Willow has also interestingly chosen lots of books about baby Jesus from the library this year, really fascinated by his birth, the guiding star, the stable and animals and the fact Mary rides a donkey in early labor (not even joking with the last one!). This then ties into talking about Saint Nick, which leads us here today, with our 2 green stockings hung up waiting to be filled. We have the stocking gifts from Father Christmas alongside a letter that gets rolled up in there too, personalized to each child. The girls open these straight away upon waking, we all cuddle in bed, reading the letters and basking in the magic that occurred whilst we slept. The gifts under the tree are from family and friends and are opened much later on, after our breakfast and morning singing with the community. Now before you shout at the screen ‘that’s so cruel making them wait’, let me explain our decision to do this. Firstly, they know no different. We made this choice when they were young, so it’s their normal. I had never thought to do anything like that, until our first year at the community, Willow was 18 months old, and we went to the singing and said to our neighbor who was 8 at the time, ‘what did you get?’ and she went on to explain all the magic that was in her stocking and we proceeded to say ‘and what else?’ and she said ‘well we haven’t exchanged gifts yet’. We were shocked, turns out so was she, as she couldn’t believe we had opened all our gifts already. Throughout the year I pondered on this and we decided to give it a go, see how it felt. Willow was only 2.5 the following year so still young enough to not even really know what was going on. It really worked for us, mainly because we buy less and if they all got opened upon waking, it would be over by 6.30am, but by gathering around the tree and reading labels together there is a sense of togetherness and deep gratitude and joy in not only receiving but giving too. We each take a turn to pick a present and read the label and give to the person it says. As we live away from family, it’s really nice to slow down and acknowledge their gift and take it in. It also allows a gift to be explored, unpackaged and enjoyed before rushing onto the next.
I’m hoping the girls enjoy this tradition too, I’d be totally open to changing if they weren’t, I’m not envisioning 2 sad little girls staring at the gifts under a tree, far from it actually. Last year was a flurry of excitement as we juiced oranges and mixed them with some prosecco, sliced the bagels we’d pre-ordered and picked up the day before from the bakery. This being another tradition we have started; vegan smoked salmon and cream cheese bagels for breakfast. I use this Happy Pear recipe for the ‘salmon’, I use Tyne cheese for the spread and we order the bagels locally from Montreal Bagels.
Another tradition I’ve added (ok I borrowed from Iceland after reading about it), is the Christmas eve book gift. It’s where each family member gets a new book on Christmas eve, and you all snuggle up and read. I look forward to seeing how this develops as the girls age and what books we will be reading together, and how a visit to the book shop to buy the books will become a thing within itself. I imagine us pulling names out of a hat and choosing a book for that person, spending hours in a bookstore, reading the backs of books to find just the right one for whomever we have picked out the hat.
Ok, let’s rewind a bit. The burning question…a tree or no tree? (Hot topic in the eco-world). We opted for a tree again this year, but we’ve gone for a potted one, with the hope and intention to keep it alive and bring it into our home every year. We commit to watering it and pruning it and treating it as part of the family (we did try this once already but sadly the tree didn’t survive). Armed with more knowledge and skill, we try again! Willow named it Cookie, because we were told we had to bake fresh cookies and eat them around the tree (not sure where she’s read/seen that) but it’s a new tradition and I LIKE it a LOT. That one will stick, I’m sure. Cookie in her delicate, unique state is now in our home and heavily over dressed in our rather too large collection of ornaments/baubles, making me love her even more. We got the tree from Ashburton Christmas Tree Farm and the whole experience was wonderful; the family-run staff were cheerful and welcoming and there were many beautiful trees to choose from. In previous years our cut tree has never gone to waste because we always saw it down and use the whole thing as fire wood. The pine needle branches make the best kindling and fill the house with the most gorgeous scent. Also a little shout out to the people rocking the plastic-trees because although they’re plastic, if you have one already or get given one, the least we can do is use it and keep that thing of out landfill (and of course you save a tree too). If bringing a tree indoors isn’t your scene, there’s loads of ideas on Pinterest to use branches, book piles or wall hangings as tree alternatives. Get creative and deck the halls…
Why do we bring trees indoors? This is where we can honour our Celtic ancestors and the Winter Solstice. Here is an excerpt I’ve copied from another source to give you a brief overview of thousands of years of history (and let’s be honest, I’m short on time here as I don’t want to spend more than one night writing and uploading this blog because I’ve got some Christmas movies to watch and a huge pile of books to read). Alas, here’s your pagan history lesson;
’The solstice (also known as Yule) has been celebrated as a pagan holiday for thousands of years, and in all actuality, many of the Christmas traditions that seem to be so tightly intertwined with the Christian holiday itself are actually borrowed from the pagans. The Christmas tree actually has its origins in pagan worship, The Yule tree has been in traditions thousands of years before it became known as the Christmas tree in the 1840s. Evergreen trees were seen as a symbol of continual life, especially at the time of the solstice. Sometimes, these trees were even decorated with trinkets that symbolised the person’s wishes for the New Year (such as coins, lights and corn, meant to bring wealth, sunlight and a bountiful harvest, respectively). Decorating and/or bringing a tree into one’s home to celebrate the holiday was frowned upon in every Christian denomination until Queen Victoria pulled a 180 on the whole thing. She wanted to have one for herself after she came back from a trip to Germany, so everyone else had to adjust. Yule logs were, in fact, named after the Yule celebration of the solstice. Some Wiccans welcome the new solar year with light, including candles and yule logs. The burning of the yule log can take place in one’s fireplace at home or in a large bonfire, which harkens back to ancient pagan rituals celebrating Yule. In truth, many of the most well-known Christmas traditions come from the celebration of Yule or the Winter Solstice. So, if you’re inclined, you might want to learn more about the holiday itself in order to better understand the roots of these customs.’’
As you can see, there’s so much to celebrate and honour at this time of year. I grew up with the nativity scenes at school and Christian carols at the school concert, whilst living in an atheist home. I now heavily resonate with the winter solstice and all that it represents and will be honouring my ancestors by lighting a fire outside on the 21st and gathering with loved ones, feasting into the night and celebrating the birth of the new sun. There’s also Rohatsu (Bodhi Day), Hanukkah (Jewish festival of lights), Kwanzaa (festival celebrating African-American culture held between Dec 26th and Jan 1st) and Boxing day (really interesting history behind it). There really is so much history and culture to explore and weave into your own world if you want to.
Globally there is a feeling of disconnect amongst us, and I believe if we adopt traditions and rituals back into our lives, we can bring back the sacred that connects us not just to each other, but something bigger. I highly recommend Sasha Sagens book, who was raised by secular parents but finds meaning and ritual around birth/death and celebrations of many kinds. It really encouraged me to ask questions and to welcome ritual into my yearly calendar.
We have a couple of weeks left of this year, my wish is that those yearning for company, find warming hands to hold. Those seeking solitude, use their voice to explain this and settle down with a good book and a warm drink, honoring themselves and their needs. Those missing family and friends, take comfort in the technology we have available and have a video call party. Those burdened by traditions free themselves and write their own story. Those holding onto traditions they love, keeping their ancestors alive, take pride in being the messenger of the old ways. And those people that feel the magic at this time of year, no matter what your religion, label or identity, share that magic far and wide, because the world needs a little bit more if it right now.
Solstice blessing
Merry Christmas
Happy Holidays
And may 2022 bring you wholeness and good health
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